By Kheng Tan (Kia’s primary school classmate)

In an unexpected occasion, I got in contact with my primary school friends Kia and began catching up on MSN.

To cut the long story short, it came to my attention that he had been working on some self motivation stuffs. I visited his website and I was so amazed with the enthusiasm and passion packed within him that brought forward his role as a leader. In particular, I could find some of my shadow in the stories that he shared. Like him, I was Chinese-educated. He claimed that it was difficult for him to adapt to the environment in NTU, Singapore. It was certainly not easy for me to get used to the whole environment in Melbourne University. I have gone through many embarrassing moments that I was not understood. Only I realized later that I mispronounced a certain words or I used the wrong expressions. At the initial stage of my university life, I have even attended some lectures that I could barely understand the content. Luckily, I took things quite positively. I started to attend pronunciation lesson and other English courses to brush up my English. Indeed, over the years, I have improved a lot.

However, something stayed deep inside me that remained unresolved. I realized, regardless of how much effort I put in, I would never speak like an Australian. I was hesitated to speak in public because I did not seem to match up with my Australian fellows. I felt inferior and that has certainly impacted my scientific career, which emphasized so much in detail explanation of scientific concepts.

With the guidance and courage of supervisors and friends, I started off giving small impromptu presentation. So often, I realized that it was the fear of “not looking good” or the fear of being judged that stopped me from proceeding. I had numerous encounters that I knew I was not going to make it even before I spoke. As you could imagine, having that kind of mindset was not going to lead me too far. I have gone through many hardships to be able to stand in front of a crowd and I am still learning.

How I wish I had something similar to Toastmaster club whereby members can support and help each other out in public speaking and dealing powerfully with life.I guess what Kia said was right: what you really need is to create an opportunity to step out of your fear, comfort zone and speak. Believe me, once you have concurred the fear of public speaking, you will realize that the fear no longer drives your life.